Love Is...The Heart of Leadership

I was in a team meeting, and we started the day outlining the ground rules.

“Be honest!”

“Listen!”

“Show respect!” someone cried out.

As our buzz came to a close, I suggested… “Be loving?”

The truth is, this particular day I was looking for compassion. I was feeling beat up from the prior day’s travel and a little bit homesick. I couldn’t believe it when I looked around.

Everyone was nodding in unison. They wanted the same! And just like that, “be loving” was a part of the day’s bylaws.

Shouldn’t it always be this easy? I’ll admit it: I haven’t always understood the wisdom of showing emotion at work – especially something as tender as love. For years, I’d check my feelings at the door, as they say, maintaining decorum, and getting straight to business.

I was as surprised as anyone to hear myself asking for love in a meeting.

We spend far too much time at work, to not be happy – joyous, even – about the work we do and the people who surround us. Research shows that the demonstration of our emotional intelligence (EQ) is equal to, if not more important than our IQ. So isn’t it smart to show love at work?

Loving leaders get this and go out of their way to treat others well. This builds loyalty – and as warm-and-fuzzy as it sounds, there are business implications. Loyalty reduces turnover and motivates workers to do their best.

What’s even better about all of this is that it’s easy – and free:

Love is patient. We’re all too stinking busy, and this takes away from making time to create close, personal connections. We’re too preoccupied to say “hi,” too self-focused to train somebody, too in our own heads to be emotionally attuned to someone else’s needs. Loving leaders are patient. They nurture and provide opportunities to help others grow. They recognize that sharing their work capacity is a worthy investment. Love is kind. “Nice” gets a bad rap, and that’s a shame. We herald ball-busting and straight shooting over kindness, but if we’re honest, nobody likes working with people who consistently show aggressive behaviors. Play “good cop” every day and your squad will have your back.

Love isn’t jealous. Jealousy rears its head in the workplace too often. Comparing success, accolades, and recognition…and for what? Here’s a tip – everyone’s work journey is too unique to compare. We’ve taken individual paths, intentionally or not, that have landed us in different places. If you’re feeling envious, direct that energy towards a plan to reach your goals.

Love isn’t boastful. So you’re the person everyone is jealous of? If you’ve built your personal brand on pomp, you’ve got some undoing to do. Being humble doesn’t mean you lack confidence; it simply shows you have a heightened realization of how others contributed to your success.

Love doesn’t demand its own way. Being a loving leader is about compromise and being a team player. Pushing to get your way is the opposite of leadership – and only shows your inability to integrate the great ideas and talents of your team.

Love doesn’t hold grudges or remember when others do wrong. Things don’t always go as planned, and if you’re maintaining a tick list of everyone’s foibles, make sure your own tally is twice as long. While addressing situations and being candid are necessary leadership behaviors, when you have to give feedback, offer it privately, and work quickly to help your colleague rebuild confidence.

Do a keyword search on leadership: there are nearly 200,000 books on Amazon. Suffice it to say, there’s plenty of content. While I’m sure they’re all full of great advice – if I can add one simple item to the list, it’s this: love never fails.

Photo Credit: www.THREE20Media.com